Best Day Ever

What I now see as the best day of my life could've easily been one of the most disappointing days of my life, and that was the day I got to see Tenth Avenue North, my favorite band, live in concert.

Long story short, I was incredibly lucky and managed to be dead-center in the front row at the concert with my closest friends. I sang along to every single melody, bridge, and all the pick-ups in between. I felt the music, I teared a little, I laughed a lot, I was moved. They had two encores.

A second long story short, because their Merch team saw me fangirl like no other earlier that afternoon as they were setting up the booth, they managed to convince security to let my friends and me cut in the autograph line or else we wouldn't of had the opportunity. When I got to Mike, the lead singer, he said "Hi, Esther!" which was amazing because I forgot I had a name-tag for a second so I freaked on how he knew my name. We had a silly and unforgettable exchange in which he looked up and said, "Hey! I saw you!" To which I dorkily replied, "Oh cool! I saw you too!" I quickly shared how much their music meant a lot and he wrote a cool message on my shirt he signed. After that, I still had the luck to thank the rest of the amazing band members of the band for their incredible work, which are Jeff, Jason, Ruben, and Brendon down the picture.

Yeah, there was a calmness and a thrill all at the same time that night. It was like meditating on a rollercoaster. The live music changed me and I had the opportunity to talk to one of the most inspiring men in my young adult life. I hope I never forget that night.

See you next Saturday,
-E

It's The Best Day Everrrrrrrr

*cue Spongebob

Okay, so my best day so far has been High School Graduation. The day felt like it ended really quick, but so much happened. First of all, I finished high school! Like, hell yeah! It was so great. Not that high school was horrible, but the feeling of accomplishment of something that had lasted four years was amazing. It truly felt like an ending chapter. I knew that I was no longer going to be in high school. I would no longer have to wake up at 6 am. I would no longer have to tolerate people who act like idiots. I would no longer have to see some people. I would no longer have to deal with the bullshit that had been built over the past four years. 

I was now going to be a college student. A person that no longer lives with their parents full time. A person that would be responsible over every decision they make. A person that was going to be a pre-adult. 

The feeling was amazing. Not only for the reasons that have been mentioned, but also because I was making my family proud. It may sound cliché but it feels real good to know that your family is proud. 

It was simply a very exciting day. On that specific day, I knew that in a few months my life would completely change--and it was amazing. 

-Jax

If I could have any super ability...

If I had the opportunity to be able to have any type of superpower, I'd wish to fly with wings. It's a little ironic considering I don't like heights, but I'd deal with that if I'd ever get the chance to soar the skies. On road trips, I love the feeling of the wind blowing on my face and lacing through my fingers as I get the chance to run down a lonely highway. I can't imagine how it would feel gliding through clouds, the exhilaration of the speed, the cool whip of the air hitting my body, being in control of the speed and never worrying about falling down ever again, truly limitless. I think that's why I'm attracted to the idea of angels; they're just the perfect icon for flying humans. Them and Hawkgirl, of course. 

Man, birds are so lucky. 

-E

SuperPower...(a subtle power)

*cue Beyoncé

To be honest, I am afraid of having superpowers. I've always thought of superpowers like crack--not that I have done crack--simply because I hear it is addictive. Superpowers sound like something that is great but can easily become bad. I imagine myself as someone who can go crazy at the realization of my superpower ability. However, regardless of my fear of ever having powers, I have thought about a few powers that I'd like to have.

1. Communicating with animals.

I freakin love animals. Anyone who knows me knows that. I love to cuddle with animals. I will admit that I even speak to animals, although it may be a one sided conversation. When I was younger, I would watch The Wild Thornberrys a lot. I thought it was amazing how Eliza could speak to animals--which I think is a big part of why I would want to speak to animals.

2. Healing
It would be a great power simply because you can stop the pain someone can be feeling. I hate seeing people in pain. It hurts me seeing people in pain. I know that doctors somewhat have this power, to which I applaud, but I don't have the mental capacity of being one. Therefore, having the power of removing pain in one touch would be really incredible.

3. Teleportation
Like c'mon how can you not want this power. I feel like it would make me even more lazy and, to be honest, I wouldn't mind. I'd never be late and I'd never be tired.

4. The ability of retaining everything I learn
Knowledge is the ultimate power.

-Jax

p.s. I am sorry for the terrible job I am doing.

One Quote To Rule Them All

Back in elementary there was a poster on the wall. It had a picture of a polar bear watching another polar bear slip on ice and it was captioned "Learn from the mistakes of others, you can't make them all yourself." I didn't know then that the quote would have such an impact on my life.

I think of these words whenever someone tries to give me any form of advice. It's easy for me to think I know what's best for myself, but the truth is there's no way I can know everything. This quote has helped me change my attitude about so many things in life. Not only have I learned a lot from others' experiences, I've also learned to be more empathetic to those around me. Sometimes I want to ditch out on another "when I was your age..." lecture, but honestly, if there are people that HAVE been through what I've been through, why wouldn't I take the time to listen to their advice? At worst, even if what they say is not applicable to my situation, I got to know a little more about another person's life, which is always cool. From this, I've learned so many invaluable lessons, such as "What other people think of you is none of your business; stop being so nosy," from my college P.E. teacher. Or "So what if she doesn't like you? Your world is not going to stop because of her. And neither are your chores," from my mother.

Also, I've learned that it's not just the words that people share, but the stories behind their words. It's crazy to me that there's 7 different billion individual lives but we can all share similar feelings, like heartache or nervousness or pride. I make my own mistakes every day and try to learn from those, but I'm still really ignorant about so much more than what I actually know. If I want to be smart, I have to keep learning. And if experience is the best teacher, then it's best I listen when someone decides to share some of their own.

Until next week,

-E

Thank You, Lead Singer.

Last year, I had the privilege of attending a Temper Trap concert at the Roxy in West Hollywood. I hadn't been a fan of them and was actually planning on attending an Arctic Monkeys concert. I however did not manage to get tickets for the Monkeys before the actual date, so decided to go watch Temper Trap. 

Do I regret my decision? No. 

I had never given this magnificent band my time of day. I had heard there more popular songs, but nothing off any of their albums. I was pleasantly surprised at how talented this band is. They have great rhythm in the music and with each other. They focus on the music and make the audience truly listen and enjoy their music. They are beautiful people. 

After a good two hours of performing, the lead singer concluded with saying "Mistakes keep people honest." I don't know why but it really stuck with me. I thought it was a great quote. The quote is very true. Maybe I thought too much of it, but I thought there was no lie in it. A mistake that is accepted does keep people honest. He said the quote after restarting the performance of one of their songs, which I think really made me like them even more. They did not care that they are a well known band. They simply cared about giving the best performance they could give. 

I used to be afraid of saying I am wrong, but now it hasn't been that difficult. I make mistakes and I am okay with it. If I want to show people who I am, I need to show them this clumsy-mistake making-messy girl. It will keep me honest and real. 

Thank you, Dougy Mandagi.

Love, 

Jax

To CyberEsther

Afternoon, Esther!

I hope you're doing well! Do you remember me? I'm chilling in college rn, being a dork and writing this to get away from practicing guitar lol. Btw, I'm "text" writing so you remember how cool you were back in the now B). 

How's life going for you? I hope you're happy. You got a family or kids? Where ya living? I guess I'll get my answers with time so I'll stop there.

I just want to let you know that I love you. Wherever you're at in life, I love you. You can be at the top of your highest potential or you can be going through the worst experience in existence, Past You (I?) still loves you. Hopefully you get out of this sludge soon and you become ambitious again. I know you've always been capable of big things (I sound like mom, huh). Idk your goals anymore, odds are they've changed as you've gotten older and matured. Just remember to go after them, okay? You had a lot of dreams when you were my age (so meta), so don't let go of that. I'm assuming that because you're older and hopefully you'll have a steady career and you'll have more resources, so make sure to help out mama and dad whenever you can. 

Also, don't forget that you're invincible, alright? Remember that quote that used to haunt us from The Breakfast Club? "When you grow up, your heart dies." 

Yeah, don't let it die. Remember to be a good person, okay. Don't pretend like you forgot the struggles of being a kid like a jerk. If our dreams come true and you're where we always wanted to be, don't forget where you came from. 

Again, I love you. Take care, E, talk to you soon.

Also, call Jack if she hasn't called you in a while. ;)

See you soon? (Idk.)

-E

Hope You Read This 10 Years From Now

A worry I have always had is whether I am happy. So, I'd like to know if you're happy? Did you get the career you wanted? Did you get married? Do you have a kid? Do you feel good?

 I hope that you have reached some level of happiness. I know that you have probably lived through some of the most life changing years, so I want you to be happy. I want you to make sure that you are happy. If you are not, why are you not changing your life? You have the strength to do so even though you may not think so. Don't keep living the life that you don't want to be living. 

If you are reading this and haven't had a proper vacation in a long time, take one. Take a few days for yourself. Book your flight, hotel, and a car. Get out of your daily routine and go enjoy some time for yourself. 

Also, call Esther if you haven't spoken to her in a while. 

Love,

Jax

My Dearest Esther

To 5 year-old me:

I love you so much. Continue asking questions. Learn, okay? Don't ever stop learning. Talk to the people that love to listen to you and leave them alone if they tell you to do so. It's okay to talk to yourself. Say sorry if you hurt people's feelings. Remind mama, daddy, and Julio how much you love them because they are the only people in the world that won't get tired of listening to you say that. Continue being nice and make sure to help mama with the chores whenever you can. Keep singing, too, loudly and without a care. I love you so much and I want you to know that you're my inspiration, even if I'm the bigger one. I love you. 

-Esther 

To 10 year-old me:

I love you, you beautiful, intelligent girl. It's okay if you're not in the same class as your friends, just keep working hard. Stop fighting with Julio because let me tell you, you're going to miss him real bad when he's gone. It's okay not to like the same things your friends like, you don't have to grow up fast. You're going to learn a lot about yourself and the people around you soon. Be nice and be patient, things will make more sense as you continue to learn. I know I've told you to keep asking questions, but now it's time to learn about silence. Sometimes it's better to not say anything at all, even if you want to talk. It's called being considerate. Be careful of what you say, when you say it, and who you say things too. Yes, all of these are important. Keep singing loudly though, and make sure you help mama with all the chores, you hear? I love you.

-Esther 

To 14 year-old me:

I love you SO much, baby girl. I'm sorry you're so mad. I can still feel it sometimes. I'm sorry they don't understand, but I hear you, I promise. And I promise you that you'll learn a lot about yourself because of this. Learn to forgive, baby girl, your parents and your friends and yourself. Trust me on this, once you figure that out, your world will change. Wanna know the secret to being really cool in life? Be nice. I know how you are, and I'm telling you just be nice. A lot of people need it and I know you can be their friend if they need you to be. Enjoy yourself while you can, dad only gets stricter. Make sure you call your brother; don't be rude. You don't need to grow up so fast. You're not going to get your first job for the next two years so quit applying everywhere. Also, you're going to really love driving. That cool feeling never goes away. But please be careful. You're just fourteen, you're in no rush to be on the highway right now. Plus you're going to get mom and dad in trouble if you get into an accident so just be careful. Also, remember to be yourself baby girl, because everything that you love now, you're going to find other people in college that'll love the same things and they'll turn out to be some of your best friends ever. Keep singing, keep learning, and make sure to do the chores before mama gets home, Lord knows she can use your help. I love you.

-E